Thursday, April 14, 2011

Songs for Japan

                I'm listening to an album of 38 songs I just downloaded from iTunes called, "Songs for Japan." Songs are a trigger for me. I'm getting really sad. Megan left for the weekend, she's calving heifers this weekend. Now that I'm alone and all my stuff is gone from my room, just the imprints on the floors, I just want to cry. I can't decide if I should let myself cry or try to hold it in. I'm feeling desperate, like I want someone here. I've had dinner and I need to study for my toxicology exam that is tomorrow (one of two reasons I'm still here, reason number two, I need to save up my absences in pharmacy administration for next weekend when I'm going to miss twice--my parents and sister are coming in!). 
                I guess another trigger today was probably learning about major depressive disorder in principles of pharmacotherapy today. Then we covered a case in lab. With the added bonus of our teacher stressing the importance of being active politically in my profession because the nursing association has been pushing hard to have dispensing capabilities under physicians. 
                If you think this is not a bit deal, outside of completely eliminating the pharmacist's role, it is because there is no way a nurse can actually do the job we do. People would die a lot. They would have to know everything it's taken us four years beyond our preparatory work to learn. Not to be too harsh, but it takes a certain personality and intelligence to be a pharmacist. It's a completely different target audience so to speak. However, they don't know this, and neither do our politicians and legislators. That's the really scary thing. Makes me want to get out there and get the word out about pharmacists.
              Back to my prior discussion, about depression and sadness, did you know that some people get so depressed they begin to have psychoses? Made me rethink some things in my past. This is what happens when you learn about these things in school, its a psychological response of course, but I can't help but assess myself for all these signs and symptoms. 
             We got head shots today at school for the Apothecary magazine that will come out in the fall. I got a package to get some extra photos to share with my family. We got to see the picture on an iPad too and pick one out of two that we would prefer. I liked my picture. I wore the gray shirt KA, my younger sister, got me for Christmas with the silk bow sleeves and an burnt orange stone necklace. It felt good being dressed up today. I felt pretty, and this week has not been a feeling pretty week. 
            I've been worried about putting weight back on. Zach and I will start going to the gym this weekend though. That will be good. We'll also have to do some house and yard work...my family is coming in!!! I'm very excited about that. Anyway, I'm going to go procrastinate some more by folding clothes and starting more laundry. Then I guess I'll have to start studying some more.

3 comments:

Tammie said...

I can't wait to see you in person!

KB said...

You wanna know what's scary? In Kentucky (they already passed it in Oklahoma) they just passed a law allowing Optometrists to do laser procedures - LASIK, YAG, PRP, all sorts of lasers. AND to boot they get to make up their own board that decides when and how they are trained to do that. Even though none of them know how to do it. They can write prescriptions for antibiotics (oral and drops), glaucoma drops, all sorts of things. It is getting out of hand but this laser stuff is just too much. Most people do well with lasers, but some do not. And half the time when they send someone to us to evaluate if they need a laser we don't even think they do. It's awesome that someone who goes to professional school for 3 years and does no residency whatsoever is trying to do what it takes me 8 years after college to do. Not to mention optometry classes are a few hundred people and we have 6, count them 6 residents per year in my program and we have well over 50 faculty members. FIFTY! To train a class of SIX. There is no way you can train an optometrist to do these kinds of things. Unfortunately not many people really know the difference between an optometrist and an ophthalmologist. Scary. It's happening everywhere. Nurses should not under any circumstances do what you do. But in almost every sector of the health care industry they are trying to replace people with cheaper alternatives. We have put in hard work, time and money, and we would like to be paid appropriately. You get what you pay for though...

AE said...

That's for sure...if people want to die or go blind, or any number of things. It reminds me of AM's mom taking a two week course in brain surgery to become a brain surgeon. What is this world coming to, I really don't know sometimes. Our teacher did tell us about the optometrist thing here in OK, that was his warning to us. A friend of mine got worse eyesight from a botched procedure actually. It makes me want to go to an optometrist for everything. Do they have time for checkups? Lol. That's crazy, 30 to 6. We don't have those numbers, but I bet its more like that if I were to do a residency after rotations to be a clinical pharmacist. I was so shocked to find out about the optometrist thing. It's like hearing about something horrible happening on the other side of the world and just not being able to take it in. It just makes me have that anxious sick feeling in my stomach. Oh well, I hope people wake up and smell the coffee.